Did you know #1

Did you know that if you saw a block of wood, smooth, carrying forward on its path, maybe boring, and then compared it to it’s splintered, gnarled twin. If someone asked,

“So, How are you?”

“That one. The splintered one. That’s me.”

or

“I guess the smooth one. I feel quiet nice today.”

It would be a better opener for many than

“Hi, how are you?!”

As compared to what?

How am I to apple? Am I mealy and bruised? Am I splendor of even storms and sunshine. Robust? Dull or shining? Smooth or scratched.

Yet it’s often asked of me to compare this to a feeling. It does not match. I feel all the time. Do others not?

Sad is a happening. An event of my personal planet topography. Happy is, lonely is, scared is… They all are.

Maybe the question asks, “What have I bumped into here, with you? Have you found something, are you carrying something, are you stalled at some road and starving, are you soiled, have you recently washed, is something quite loud that only you hear?

oh, I could write pages of these.

Did you know that I would know you are not ok? And you would know the same of me.

Further, like a cat experiencing threat, I’d recognize our need for safety, comfort, ease, even playfulness by the splintered aesthetic of the wood block

I’d ask and be prepared to answer. I’d smooth you out and you’d smooth me.

There are circles of conversation where this becomes a frustration. They’ll ask

“How do you feel?”

“Like a splintered block of wood”

“So maybe scared”

“I don’t know”

“disconnected?”

“I don’t know”

“Broken”

“I don’t know”

And asking the question to find a feeling associated does not work.

“What type of wood?”

This is the divide I’m typically trying to divine whenever I meet another human. Are you going to try to guess me, assume we are the same, or are you going to try to learn my language?

I appreciate the linguists. I try to learn the language. But the language is based on assumptions and the denizens are constantly warding off insults they’ve personally determined as critical punctuations.

Did you know, it’s the assumptions that exhaust me.

I don’t know anything.

I maybe don’t even want to learn to be kind.

not that kind

is there another?